Jul 12, 2024

Financial planning, Relationships

How a Financial Therapist Can Support Your Relationship and Your Finances

Emily Luk

CPA, CFA - CEO and Cofounder of Plenty

Therapy used to be stigmatized as a “last resort” for couples with big issues in their marriage. Over the past two decades, therapy has increasingly been seen as a place to “do your work” and grow… preferably before it’s actually needed. Financial therapy works a lot in the same way, and in a world where we never learned how to talk about money (much less navigate it with a partner), it can be helpful to have an experienced professional to guide conversations.


What is Financial Therapy?

  • Financial therapy is a type of therapy that focuses on helping individuals and couples regain control over their finances and lives.

  • A financial therapist helps clients understand the root of their money problems, which often stem from childhood experiences and helps clients bring intentionality to evolving the way they think and feel about money.

  • Financial therapists use a range of therapeutic techniques, including cognitive, emotional, behavioral, relational, and financial aspects of well-being.



Common Financial Issues in Relationships

Oversaving vs Overspending

  • One common conflict is when one partner feels more secure with a large sum of money in the bank, while the other partner disagrees (either they prefer investing or spending it).

  • Overspending can also stem from a scarcity mentality, leading to a desire to acquire nicer things.

  • A financial therapist explores the root of this discomfort, including money narratives and potential traumatic experiences involving money: it often involves understanding how each person’s family handles money.

When Money Styles conflict and it’s uncomfortable to talk about

  • It’s more likely than not that two individuals have different approaches to money: you’ll often hear of the “opposites attract”. And that’s normal: people look for partners that are exciting and different. But that can make it hard when it comes to money.

  • Talking about money can be uncomfortable, leading to communication issues and even financial infidelity.

  • A financial therapist helps couples navigate this discomfort and have open money discussions; making money conversations easier to navigate often reduces the likelihood of financial infidelity.



The Role of a Financial Counselor

How a Financial Counselor Can Help Couples Address Financial Behaviors and Conflicts

  • A financial therapist helps couples identify and overcome deep-seated issues that make it hard to work together. They can help couples understand each other more, and identify when certain behaviours need attention and work.

  • Financial therapy enables couples to develop a healthier relationship with money and establish a plan and set up a financial system to manage finances.

  • A financial counselor provides emotional support to help individuals and couples cope with financial stress and woes.



Benefits of Financial Therapy for Couples

Improves Mental Health and Wellbeing

  • Financial therapy has several positive benefits, including improving mental health and well-being, improving relationships, identifying better coping tools, and reducing stress.

  • Financial therapists can also coach and encourage healthy financial habits like saving or paying down debt.


Improves Relationship with Partner

  • Nip it in the bud when it’s early: finances are one of the biggest stressors in relationships and learning how to handle conflict early could set a strong foundation for your relationship.

  • Financial therapy focuses on improving communication which can help your relationship in more ways than just the financial ones.



How to Find a Qualified Financial Therapist

How to find a Financial Therapist

  • The Financial Therapy Association Network is an organization that certifies financial therapists and provides training.

  • Look for a certified financial therapist and make sure their credentials show that they’ve gone through training.



The Process of Financial Therapy

Addressing Financial Conflicts and Developing Healthy Financial Habits

  • A financial therapist helps couples navigate the intersection of money and feelings, exploring how generational money narratives and financial trauma impact financial behaviors and relationships.

  • Financial therapy helps couples develop empathy, understanding, and a sense of common purpose around money.



Overcoming Financial Challenges Together

Building a Stronger Financial Future with a Financial Counselor

  • Financial therapy can help couples build practical skills for managing money together and address the deeper reasons they’re fighting about money.

  • Some financial therapists will also help put together a plan to coach and support a couple in taking the first steps (they’re often the hardest!).



Conclusion

The Importance of Financial Therapy in Saving Your Relationship

  • Financial therapy can help both individuals and couples manage financial stress and navigate uncomfortable conversations.

  • Financial therapy helps break old cycles of poor financial management through a range of techniques and tools, with an outcome of an increased understanding of financial knowledge and the reasons behind each partner’s feelings around money.




About Plenty


Plenty is an investment platform designed specifically for couples to build wealth, together. We go beyond budgeting, making it simple to invest, save and grow towards your future goals by unlocking access to the financial strategies of the wealthy. Ready to get started? Sign up for your 1 month free trial today. No credit card required.

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AUTHOR

Emily Luk

CPA, CFA - CEO and Cofounder of Plenty

Emily is the ceo and cofounder of Plenty. Started by a husband and wife team, Plenty is a wealth platform built for modern couples to invest and plan towards their future, together. Previously, she was VP of Strategy and Operations at Even (acquired by Walmart/One) and a founding team member of Stripe's Growth and Finance & Strategy teams. She began her career as a VC, and was one of the youngest nationally to complete her CPA, CA and CFA designations.

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